The Blue Moon

2007-07-17T00:03:00.000+08:00

I am glad that you have finally found your target in life...but just hope that you wouldn't neglect things around you when you are persuing your career (to be honest I have been hinting you not to neglect FT and me...)...now I can only pray that you will think of me one day when you decide to have a longer break...

How to leave you?

2007-07-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

如何離開你

歌手：關心妍作曲：林夕填詞：伍樂城編曲：伍樂城

天天都跟你過今天卻要靜坐
在思考怎可像最初忘記最初
新相識過會如何
哪些經過性格註定再經過
終於不想見我本應我要道賀
在世上情人如此多
明白執迷沒結果感情埋掉帳單要離座
並沒天規必須愛我並沒有錯
然而低估分手淚未能流那苦楚
可幸我還是我假若眼見灼傷到面前便撲火

如何離開你放浪遠飛
誰人談起你種種是非
當作陌生者別管你共渡過風景多美
過兩三年始終都敢上機
如能離開你有日鑽禧
若重遇你是甚麼世紀
其時伴侶想像跟你憔悴沒法相比
求能後悔當初過分頑固怎麼會迷戀你

並沒天規必須愛我並沒有錯然
而低估分手淚未能流那痛楚
可幸我還是我
假若愛到年月也快蹉跎算甚麼
完全離開你我未致死
日後若講你如神話說起
才能做到拋下心理石塊換到生機其時或會真的豁達無比斗膽再回憶你

2007-07-03T00:10:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday darling!

I can't deny that I really miss you...

2007-06-26T17:57:00.000+08:00

仍想念你
關心研

竟想不到每夜把哭泣當做一種思念
我在你心裡已是不再重要
相距漸遠致電也使你生厭

竟想不到態度太差太冷漠自私不斷
你令我相信是我太高要求
或者必須要分手

過去最美是我躺於你身邊
隨時日變作痛苦的勸勉
當愛著你失去自己
誰人話愛也要一種運氣

仍想念你若沒結果我為何深愛著你
痛心的折磨在我心裡藏
愛你太奢侈應要放底你

仍想念你若是最真最深刻的愛被拋棄
寧願沒回憶完全地忘記
愛上過不應該去愛的你

2007-06-18T09:32:00.000+08:00

I am sure Loverboi is dead...but I really miss Loverboi...I think AhLong and Loverboi are 2 different persons...Can I meet Loverboi again? =(

2007-06-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

Loverboi is dead...who is AhLong?I really don't know who he is...

2007-06-14T00:22:00.001+08:00

I really can't take it anymore...are u sure u are really busy or just avoiding me? I thought u asked me to believe u cos u love me? I thought u will still talk to me only even when u are busy and pretend to be away to avoid others? Are all these still valid at this moment? I don't think so...I really can't take the present situation anymore...

2007-06-08T09:32:00.000+08:00

Are we still fated to be together? Whenever you are free, I just happen not to go online and catch you...

our 1st anniversary is coming...

2007-05-27T18:17:00.000+08:00

i really think i am not wrong at all...i already inform them that i may not be able to make it but they decided to go ahead with the plan anyway...in the end when i really couldn't make it...some people became angry or even blame me...u call this a way to thank me or celebrating birthday for me? i am so disappointed with u all..especially u...u are my dear one and yet u hurt me the most...shouted at me over the msn...until i cried on the spot...i am not wrong ok...and i won't feel sorry for that...i just feel sad and disappointed that u all treat me that way...so what the dinner is postponed?...this person is not coming that person is not coming...u all trying to take revenge on me? this really upsets me...if u don't love me anymore...please admit and let's remain as distant friends ok...i can't accept a dear one who has hurt me like that ...

2007-05-27T18:13:00.000+08:00

did u use busy as an excuse of leaving me? i really think so...

2007-05-23T20:49:00.000+08:00

i am all alone...starving...how i wish i can call u for dinner at our usual hangout place now...lyk we used to be...but i tink u will ignore me now...for u don't care abt me anymore

2007-05-23T09:36:00.000+08:00

u noe how sad i am now u stupid handsome? i rily wonder when u r toking to me...i noe u r not as busy now...maybe u don't love me anymore

2007-05-16T15:56:00.000+08:00

where are u? wat r u busy wif? we haven't tok for a long time...I miss u...but u dunno...my birthday is coming...how i wish u can jus tok 2 me for at least this special day...i thought u will wish me happy birthday...but now i dun tink u will. remember your promise that u wil bring me to fisherman village as my birthday present? i hope it will be realised one day...

2007-05-11T17:14:00.000+08:00

i am lonely at work now...suddenly thought of those days when we work together...i will never forget what happened and what u told me at the fax room...haha...u noe u rily scared me?!haha..drinking my hot milo now...suddenly tink of our kopi sessions last time...i miss those moments not because i like to laze around...it's becos i can tok and joke with u haha..i tink of u when i hear the fax machine sound now too...u noe wat?i always walked pass ur desk purposely when i needed to go the fax room haha...hoping that u will wink or smile at me ;p..i tink of the eggs that u cooked for me...its rily delicious!!...i always wonder where u hide the eggs as i never see them b4 hahahaha...i miss the times when u protected and supported me when someone bullied me...miss those times when u stood up for me...now i am working alone...thinking of u...

2007-05-10T14:26:00.000+08:00

I really don't know what u are busy with...I only know that u are always busy busy busy. Yet, u can always go out during weekends to make out...but don't have time to talk on weekdays. Anyway I will support u mentally behind your back, I miss you

My dark side

2007-05-10T14:13:00.000+08:00

Wow...it has been a long time since I last touched my blog. I have been listen to this song since many years ago, but I never know that the lyrics will apply so much on me suddenly...

專一至今竟會敢避過你的吻
伏在你身說找到更喜愛的人
我也居然變心不禁要承認我
像往日我恨透的罪人
當初的我為了你為瞞著好友
日夜怪你愛不夠還驚你風流
然後到我內疚任旁人來認購
恨你沒有問情由便放我走
* 誰都會散怎知一拍便會散
怪我自己作反明明我不應再揀
忠貞怎可以貪給拋棄亦已很慣
不慣去承認自私移情別愛太奸
# 遲早要(都)散散得清脆未算慘
我卻要忠變奸斗膽一腳踏兩船
想上岸時又晏
無面目再解釋自廢了承諾是否太搗蛋
當初枉我未拍拖曾這樣講過
外遇那些女主角遲早惹出禍
誰料那個是我又能如何恨我
沒法面對自我其實最痛楚
Repeat *
@何苦再自命淒慘你當我搗蛋
誓要去與他邂逅仍然從不怕被人話濫
從未做過玩家但我卻誠實認真去玩
真心相愛未見得為了他英俊
換掉角色也許你你都會包容
我到今天至懂為情而淪落了
在背後確實有些苦衷
不可不信

What's my ambition?

2006-11-18T00:46:00.000+08:00

I think he probably thinks that I am a person who don't know what I really want and have no ambitions at all. Well, actually I don't want to be like this. From young till now, I find that I always can't get what I wish for, or what I hope to be. This slowly stops me from thinking of what I want to do because I think it will not come true if I think about it. I begin to develop the habit of listening to god and let him lead me to where I am now. Actually, I don't want to be such an aimless person la......

My last ambition was to take the Banking & Finance Course in SP instead of Business Admin and choose the Finance option in year 2, so that I can be a stockbroker next time, or at least get some jobs that involves stocks and shares. I really want to know more about this, because it's such a common thing and alot of people are "playing" with it, and yet I don't know anything about it. My family gets involved alot as well, and it bothers me when I don't know what it is about. I wanted to be a banker as well, influenced by my dad since young. Too bad, my dream was shattered, as my parents think banking & finance job is not suitable for me. Before entering SP, I already put banking & finance as 1st choice on my application form, but was asked by my parents to change to BA. WEll, I just had to obey lor...and ended up as what I am now.

Nevertheless, I am happy that god has led me to an industry that I have never thought of entering before, the MICE industry. I enjoyed my jobs dealing with exhibitions, and I am thinking of going back to it after I graduate. So I still think that it's not all bad not to have any ambitions, I will know what to do and what I want one day......Do you think it's a good choice?hehe

The end of semester one

2006-11-18T00:18:00.000+08:00

Time flies, as everyone always describes. Today marks the end of Year 1 Semester 1 of my uni life. Soon it will be my exams! This week is really quite a memorable and touching one. Every lecturer bidded us good bye, and I realised that I miss them after having spent 13 weeks together because we wouldn't see them again probably (unless I fail the module la hahaha). The school even provided us a buffet breakfast during a tutorial for one of my modules! So sweet, looking at others in the class taking photos. It's so amazing. 13 weeks ago, we all didn't know one another. 13 weeks later, we laughed together as a class and became so close to the tutor.

Now, I have to study hard but feel worried for the coming exams. I used to be very confident in exams, and planned my study schedule well. I really really hope I can continue in this way......
Did he tell me before to be confident? Ya I think I have to show him that I will stay confident this time......

love him...miss him...again and forever

2006-11-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

It feels so good to see him again. Although time was short, I still feel very happy that we met again. I felt loved, when he poured me a cup of water unexpectedly. It was so sweet, that he gave me a kiss when my face showed him that I will miss him after today. But he told me, I will not miss him when I am busy. Well, it is quite true, but I think it applies more on guys haha. Since I am busy preparing for my exams now, I do admit that I miss him less. However, everyone knows my weak point, that is missing someone I love very easily. I can even start missing someone before saying bye to him. Some guys may find this irritating, but I am not sure about him, hope he is not =p......

Hope to see him again soon, although I think it's quite impossible, at least for the rest of this year. He will be busy soon, and I will be in H.K after my exams for quite a while. Despite this, I hope he will still love me, and of course, I will still love him too :)

Exams are coming!

2006-11-12T17:39:00.000+08:00

Time really flies...Semester 1 of my 1st year in uni is coming to an end! I still recall what happened during orientation, in Aug, Sep, Oct and now it is already Nov!! I really miss Aug and Sep especially, it was really still a honeymoon period of all students. But then again, I really quite regret for having been "slacking" these few months. Well, actually I am not a very lazy person in terms of study. Now come to think of it, I realised that I have slacked through these months because I have put in the same effort as what I did in poly, which I just know it's not enough for uni. Hai now I regretted. I hope I will I will manage my time better and be even more hardworking in the next sem! The consequences of being "lazy" are taking place now, worrying for exams and planning how to study for it, since I haven't been really reading all chapters for all modules...:(

I am feeling quite excited now. Finally can meet you again, after 2 months of "missing period". However, I have been thinking to myself these few days: We haven't met for so long, not even had a true heart-to-heart chat, will the feeling be different?Actually I am even thinking of whether I should meet you after all. I know I will miss you even more after meeting you, since you are working real soon, and I am not sure when we can meet again. On the other hand, I feel that I should grab hold of this chance to meet you, since I don't know when we are meeting again...Hai blame my weakness of missing someone easily, blame you for not missing me so much and often anymore :(....I hope it will all be fine, hope you will love me and miss me more......

Missing u Again

2006-11-06T01:43:00.000+08:00

I know stories just wouldn't repeat themselves twice, especially good and romantic ones. But I miss you recently again.

lala mind your own manners!

2006-11-03T01:03:00.000+08:00

I am glad that the SS proj is finally over. I dislike tensions as well. All thanks to lala, the process of doing SS proj is horrible. This girl is an extremely typical Leo, don't like to listen to others and is always INSISTING that she is right. But she is worse than any typical Leo I have ever seen, always shouting, quarelling and arguing with people. When she opens her mouth and starts to quarel, everyone around will get stunned. Yet, I don't understand why she still can have so many friends. I am sure more and more people have seen her true colours, but no one seems to mind. I MIND LOR! Please la I think her parents really never teach her manners, always "barking" at everyone. Hope I wouldn't meet her in project groups again, I am sure she doesn't want to see me too :p

So the moral of the story is: never do project with any LEO people. This is not the first time I have experienced such things. All Leos are like this, but lala is worse. How can she say my english is bad, when she needs to attend English class herself while I don't? Crazy lala.

Stop gossiping about me k lala. Nothing is going to do between me and you from now on. And MIND YOUR OWN MANNERS LALA!

It's just a day

2006-10-27T00:39:00.000+08:00

Actually today is just quite a normal day for me. Lessons from 9am to 12pm as usual. Then my group and I went to some company to interview them as part of our project. It is quite easy for me as I used to lead my group in interviewing managers when I was in SP. I am happy that the interview soon ended and I feel even happier when I chose to take bus home straight from Yishun instead of going back to school again. I feel convenient, never feel this way for a long time. It's so much faster to go home from Yishun then to go home from school. However, I feel bad leaving my group alone to struggle on econs qns. But on another hand, I really think that I can't go back to school like the others considering the fact of where I live (Sorry peeps). Actually I am worried, because of my excuse of "living far", I have missed alot of things, be it about academic (like leaving early from discussions or something, or having fun (missed alot of Maayam activities last time, now want to go out in big group also no chance). Hai......

Why do guys get tired of something so easily? They hate to see the same girl for long time, hate to be close to you for long time, hate to love you for long time. I really don't understand why. Can you all think about this, GUYS?

Love is all around...that includes my love for u

2006-10-24T12:42:00.000+08:00

能在远处遥望着你, 已令我感到心满意足. 今天令我深信, 缘分还是存在你我之间. 希望有一天我们还能如从前般相见......

Love is around no more...

2006-10-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

Love is all around you, but not me, because I am living without your love now.

我真的很想还你自由, 却发觉无法履行对自己的承诺.
在此刻, 我不得不承认, 我真的很爱你, 也非常后悔从前没有珍惜你.
我尝试忘记你, 却又办不到.
我痛恨自己堕入你的爱情陷阱.
现在的我, 每天都不忘想念你.
但我知道, 你的心已飘离了我.
不知你何时会再爱我, 也不知何时才能与你相见.
我只知道, 现在的我, 只能默默地爱你......

还你自由

2006-10-16T22:20:00.000+08:00

人长大了,
只想对自己诚实,
也对别人诚实.
我把天空还给你,
也把自由还给大家.
希望你好好的生活,
是我最诚挚的祝福.

你我的距离已渐远,
我只能忍痛还你自由.
但希望你不会把我忘掉......

Bad Health

2006-10-16T13:21:00.000+08:00

Life is so miserable, not only because I have so much work to do, but also suffering from bad health. Thanks to the haze, I feel suffocated everyday, breathing in the burning smell. My sinus breaks out now and then, keep sneezing and my nose feel itchy. How I wish I can stay home everyday and don't need to go to school HAHA.

Besides the haze, my feet are giving me problems too, 1st was the left and now is the right. Did I walk too much on my way to school? Or is it due to my dancing? Hai I feel so paralyzed. Wish that I can be healthier, with your love haha.

想念你

2006-10-15T23:38:00.000+08:00

思念, 是一种煎熬.

孤寂的夜里, 颤抖着双手拨出你的电话号码, 还没听到你的声音, 眼泪已经滔滔地涌出来.

有时候, 我会思念自己那么想念一个人......

nice moments at alma marter

2006-10-11T19:51:00.000+08:00

Today my best friend and I went back to SP for lunch. I felt so excited, not only because food in SP is much better than that in NUS biz canteen, but also because I really love SP.

I don't know why I love SP so much, to an extent that people may find it strange. It really gave me lots of fond memories, which I always look back on. It witnessed me growing up, and also my success and achievements in studies. When i went back today again, I really feel that it is a place without stress at all, peaceful and quiet. The atmosphere is friendly, where we can chit chat with lecturers everywhere. I was glad that the lecturers still remember me! haha...unlike uni lecturers, who always can't recall who I am and neglect my opinions and answers that I provide in class =(. I really had a great time talking to them today. I think I will go back again more often soon.

Everyday when I pass by Dover station on MRT, I will keep staring at SP, especially the biz block. I really miss my alma marter, and hope that uni lecturers will be more friendly to me. Maybe I am just a student who needs great attention from them. I am afraid that they don't know me and give me the wrong participation mark haha.

I miss you so much SP!

Missing you......

2006-10-09T12:53:00.000+08:00

I am still waiting...
I miss you more and more...
and I really mean more and much more
where are you?...
I can't see you anywhere at anytime...
I never know that I like you so much...
until now...
that you are not around
I really miss the moments that we have spent together...
although they were short
I really miss you...
and hope to see you soon...
muacks......

Lonely Lonely

2006-10-03T13:12:00.000+08:00

I am all alone, always get abaondoned by someone. No one ever cherishes my presence, no one cares whether I am alive or dead. No one remembers me, no one is thinking of me......

Everyone does the same to me. I really really don't know what's wrong with me. Is it what I did? or my personality that makes people dislike me? It is really unfair! I help them occassionally on school work and yet they do this to me. What is this????

Everyone around me starts leaving me one by one, unexpectedly. I miss them all, and yet they chose to leave my life. I miss the happy moments that we are together, really miss them very very much......

I hope all our happy moments will come back to me one day......

Feeling Fresh

2006-10-02T22:34:00.000+08:00

I finally feel better today, feeling fresh in school on the first day after the break. Able to concentrate and understand better too. Hope this can continue......

I am looking forward to my beloved lantern festival this friday! Sound like a kid hor? haha...no choice I really like this festival since very young

=( 算了吧

2006-09-30T00:02:00.000+08:00

There is no more tomorrow, for you wouldn't know if I am still alive for the next moment......

Meaningless

2006-09-28T18:08:00.000+08:00

I am always forgotten, abondoned, neglected, unwanted......I don't know what happened, have I done anything wrong? Can anyone tell me?

一切已成泡影, 我只能凭空仔细嘴嚼回味

I am scared of everything now...imagining projects cannot be done on time, cannot be finished, cannot be done well, imagining that I am going to fail all exams in future, cannot graduate from uni, losing everything, be it in school or personal life......Just find that it is really meaningless for me to continue living......I don't want to have this kind of scary thoughts anymore......People around will also think I am crazy to be thinking of such things and get sian of consoling me or listening to me......

My Wishes......

2006-09-27T03:04:00.000+08:00

I have 2 wishes, going to taiwan and taking cruise with my friends. They have been my wishes for a long time, but I still do not have a chance to make them come true to date.

Before this one-week break, my best friends and I actually decided to go taiwan. But sadly our decision came too late. We didn't manage to book the tickets at promotional fare for this period. Feeling so disappointed now. Yesterday, my dear ex-colleagues from T3Rd asked me to join their taiwan trip in coming Dec to enjoy christmas and new year countdown there! Wow, I became so excited, kept asking them about the details. I was still thinking about it today ans was about to inform them that I confirm going, something suddenly strike me! I totally forget about my bf's birthday which is on 30th Dec!!!!!!! Oh no, how can I forget that, he will kill me if I never celebrate his birthday with him and go away for holiday!!!!!!!!! So how now? Do I have to miss another chance again? Or do I leave taiwan alone earlier than the others without counting down for new year? Hmm....still thinking of the solution. Any idea?

As for the cruise, I don't know when I can go too. I browse through the brochures and all cruises look expensive to me. Anyone sponsor? hahahahaha

A Narrow Escape?......

2006-09-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

Today something which has never happened to me before happened. When I was taking escalator down from clementi mrt platform to the gate, it suddenly stopped halfway!!!!! I was not holding onto the handrail lor, with one hand holding my bag and the other using my handphone, intending to call my friend. I got shocked, but luckily I never roll down the escalator and die. If not, I would not be able to write my blog here. However on the pessimistic side, why didn't I roll down and just die?I don't mind, but my friend said that I will leave behind alot of people feeling sad. Hmm...I wonder if anyone will really get sad when I die...ha...

HATE

2006-09-25T00:26:00.000+08:00

I hate being sapped......I can't take it anymore......I hate the book......I hate it for teaching me what is sapped......I always get sapped ever since I read the book......I think it is cursed......

Individualist VS Collectivist

2006-09-24T11:13:00.000+08:00

Thanks all peeps for consoling me and giving me advice on how to be less stressful. I understand why you all asked me to learn to work in groups and share the workload among all members, which I am still not very used to. It is not that I look down on anyone thinking that only I have the ability to complete every piece of work. Honestly I might have thought in this way last time, but not now as I don't have the power to finish everything anymore. However, I admit that I am more an individualist (though I am not born in western countries haha) and feel that group discussion is not effective after all. I am also a perfectionist in school work, which explains why I am so concerned and anxious to the extent that I always want to finish the work alone first and place all burden all my shoulders, without waiting for others. You all may think that I am being selfish and that I won't survive like this in Uni, but I am juz worried, due to the fact that project discussions are not useful at all. For instance, we have been discussing econs tut for so long yesterday, from 2 plus in the afternoon to the time I left (around 7pm) but we only merely touched on 1 or 2 questions. Furthermore during the entire discussion, only those who were concerned would discuss and think of answer together, while those who were not concerned just chit chat most of the time. I guess most of you think that we must have group meeting as it is fair, in the sense that "everyone discuss and do work together". But to me, the fact is the meetings have been so ineffective, looking at our rate of doing work, which I can't tolerate anymore. It would have been so much efficient to break down the questions and all of us do it in pairs, at least. Of course, if I have the ability like last time, I would have called the meeting a day and finish the work all on my own, since not everyone is discussing and helping. Now you may see why I am so intolerant of group discussion and always want to do work on my own. As for now, I feel so stress because I don't have the ability to finish the work on my own (I don't know some of the questions as well) but it makes me heartache to see the rate we are doing things in group. So peeps, it is very hard for you all to persuade me that I should relax and let go and learn to work together so that I can survive in uni and stop feeling stress, unless you all can prove to me that we can finish our work efficiently in group one day.

i am missing you......

Stress Faced by ME...A Taurean

2006-09-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

Today I read "My Paper" and found one article talking about stress faced by people of different horoscope and why. The first thought in my mind: It's a right time for me to read this! It describes me, a taurean, as follows:

当发生令金牛座想破头却想不通的问题时, 就会让金牛座感到压力重重. 有自我压抑倾向的金牛座没有办法忍受别人在旁边不断催促, 需要时间好好地思考, 才能想的清楚.

当金牛座一个人不想和别人说话时, 正是牛儿受不了压力而钻牛角尖的征兆. 没有力气的金牛座, 压力一触即发.

What the above says is really accurate, especially the bold parts. I easily feel stressed when I don't know how to do something, thinking that I am becoming more stupid, and I don't feel like talking to people recently too. Is it silly to think that I am stupid?......

A Sigh of Relief......

2006-09-23T00:57:00.000+08:00

I really feel relieved after submitting the email of resignation from the post of travel director to my chairman, though it has not been approved yet. I guess I break the record of resigning from the main committee just within a week after I have been given the post! I didn't want to project the image of being irresponsible to others, but I really can't help it. The problem is I am really stressed about school work now, and I am even more stressed after getting my job scope during the meeting on Tue night. The Travel Club also has a problem, they didn't inform me about all my future job scope during the interview, misleading me to think that it is not difficult to be in the main com. I felt so overwhelmed during the meeting! I am so stressed about school work already, you think I will still have time to lead the sub com and organise this and that? The idea is totally crazy to me, even though I really want to "beautify" my resume. So for now, I will just continue to be a normal member of the Video & Photography Committee and learning my favourite jazz dance and be very contented......

Recess break is Coming

2006-09-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

Yeah...1 week recess break is coming! I hope I can slack, but there are quite many things that need to be done too:

Things I wanted to do:

Going to Taipei with da jie and ken girl (Well too bad we decided too late and air tickets are sold out, so become a gone case)
Going cycling with them at Pulau Ubin (Didn't manage to go with them the last time, I hope I can make it this time!)
Going East Coast Park and KTV with Maayam peeps (Thanks u all for organising an outing in the East just for me!)
Meeting my dear ex colleagues from T3Rd
And of course, to meet my love ones :)

Things that I need to do:

Project meeting for SSB 2216
Project meeting for MNO 1001
Group discussion for econs homework
Clear up tutorials and unread chapters

Things that I need to do is different from those that I want. I hope I don't need to do those things, but I am looking forward to do the things that I wanted. Haha

SAPPED

2006-09-21T23:54:00.000+08:00

ganna sapped again...hai

The Power of Group Discussion / Looking for Myself

2006-09-21T17:18:00.001+08:00

I finally witnessed the power of group discussion today. It was not effectiveness of the group discussion, but the arguement which was involved. Maybe I shouldn't say it was an argument, but exchanging ideas in loud and fierce way (not me of course! haha). I admited that I don't like group discussion all along, ever since poly days. It is not really effective in completing a project and it will scare me when things like today happen. I, as a neutral party today (because I won't speak loudly to friends of course), got stunned during the meeting at first, and my face turned black and serious as I was disgusted by my group mate, whom I consider as one of my new best friends. Don't know why she suddenly behaved like that. The only thing that I was thinking at that moment was: I will go home and finish the report and powerpoint well myself, to shut all of your mouths and no more discussion and arguments next time! However, the sad thing is I am still unable to look for my old self, the me who could finish a group project which was meant for 5 persons and got A for the group. I don't know why I lost my power just like this, but I hope I can get it back soon. I will still work on this project on my own, hoping to see all of your mouths shut, eyes wide opened and get stunned. Hmph...haha

Good Morning!

2006-09-19T10:18:00.000+08:00

Its so early now and I am in school, feeling hungry...haha. I think I have strained my left foot on my way to school because I have been walking so fast, its feeling so stiff and painful now =(...Hope it get better later in the day

Zapp and Sapp

2006-09-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

I keep getting zapped and sapped by him...can I know what he is thinking?

haha pretty me

2006-09-13T14:04:00.000+08:00

I like these clothes of mine which I have bought recently! haha......they are quite expensive leh...but worth it la......

=)

2006-09-13T14:01:00.000+08:00

I love u too......

Our Story......

2006-09-13T13:51:00.000+08:00

相愛無夢 (電視劇"西關大少"主題曲)

跟你抱著未等於愛上不再抱著未等於不想
你我在這分鐘說過無緣再見下秒鐘再湊巧碰上
*即使一起貌合卻又神離分隔兩地日夜掛著愁眉
再各自結新歡卻暗地拿你去比較現有的始終偏袒你

#有心愛你卻愛不到抱緊了你卻又未想終老
再等到與對方失散之後就會知原來誰最好
愛不到至會更想愛抱緊了你我又無心裝載
我跟你也破不到男與女之間愛情的定數

一個過活恨抱著情人一對過活又掛念誰人
到了話要分開你我尚有惻隱又再探聽對方新聞

I realised the root of the problem......

2006-09-12T00:41:00.000+08:00

I am feeling less stressed now I think. Looking at the situation with a clearer mind, I finally know the root of the problem. I just realise I am almost only stressed about Econs, while still barely able to cope other modules. Why am I only stressed by Econs? Well, my best module in poly was Econs. Getting a dist for every test and exam, having no problem in understanding it during lecture at all, and of course lecturers' help is very useful. Friends always ask me about Econs, in school or on phone, and I am able and willing to teach them.

Situation now: Cannot really understand well in lecture, need to ask others' for help on tutorial (when sometimes they can't help me too), think too simply for an answer to a question, not used to solving a question in mathematical way......

This is really demoralising, downgrading from an expert to an idiot......

人往往害怕从高处堕下,
只因害怕跌到了,
却无法自行爬起来
从新振作, 而是一蹶不振.

我也不例外.
我情愿一开始便做第二名,
至少我还有得到第一的希望,
得到第三也不会如此悲伤.

Jazz Dance......

2006-09-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

I have finally joined the jazz dance club in school formally, yeah! After having attended 2 lessons, I seriously think that I like jazz dance alot (to be accurate, I like most kinds of dance la, as long as is dancing). But the difficult part is that it requires one to have very flexible body (we need to shake the whole body lor haha) which I haven't really mastered yet. I hope I can dance very gracefully like the instructor soon :)

失踪行动已宣布终止, 因为我感到不舍.
你爱我吗? 你想我吗? 我害怕你会把我遗忘......

A running Day

2006-09-08T13:56:00.000+08:00

Today is really a hectic day for me....running here and there on my way sch. 1st I ran from bus interchange to Mrt station, cos the coming train is only 1min and next train is 9min!!! no choice have to run...when i reached clementi, I was already quite late...I saw 96 was already there, so I started running from MRT escalator to bus interchange...hai I end up panting for whole morning, so unhealthy.

How I wish I don't live so far from school, I think I am the only one who keep running on my way school...when can I get used to this suffer?

How I wish u are the one......

2006-09-08T00:44:00.000+08:00

错的时间, 爱上对的人, 是一声叹息.
我只可默默地守护在他身旁, 不发一语

Still Feeling Stressed......

2006-09-02T00:59:00.000+08:00

I am still feeling stressed...lecturers do not exercise open door policy and afraid to have disputes with course/group mates next time when doing project.

I feel even more stressed now....when my mum told me that I should have self discipline and not to go out every sat with bf. And yet my bf will also stress me when I can't go out with him even for just one day in a week. Why am I so poor thing? I am not only pressurised by school work, but also from parents and bf. I mean of course I have self discipline, which is why I want to finish tutorial on weekdays and feel free to go out on saturdays. And yet my parents don't believe me...no one seem to be understanding and believing me. I really feel very helpless now. Why do I have so much more pressure as compared to others? Other parents are ok with their children having bf or gf, why can't mine understand?

Who can help me? I bet no one can. I can't help crying now, but who understand my problems?

Depression......

2006-08-31T00:46:00.000+08:00

Nowadays I am feeling depressed, especially when having lessons, doing tutorials and printing notes. I was shocked to find that I can't even do all the questions in Econs tutorial, which was what I was best at last time. I was really shocked and sad until I cried in front of the tutorial, feeling helpless. I know the standards for poly and uni are definitely different, but I really can't accept the fact that I suddenly can't understand what the lecturers are talking, not even after reading the textbooks. I can't understand the text as well, and don't know how to do tutorials, which did not really happen in my poly life. I really can't accept! Sobs......

Stressful Life in NUS

2006-08-30T00:04:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling stressed due to school work ever since week 2, which is considered as abnormally early. Do I have mental problem? I hope not. Well, I guess uni life is really really different from poly life. Maybe I should list out the main differences for u all to compare:

Poly

Everyone is slacking. Most of them don't do their tutorial or do it in very last minute.
Everyone is always thinking about how to skip lessons, and always late for lessons while not feeling embarrassed.
Even lecturers are lazy, they always start their classes late.
Lessons are easy to understand, as long as u pay attention to the lecturer.
Lecture notes always go along with textbooks, and tutorial ans can easily be found in lecture notes, don't need to buy textbooks!!!

Uni

Everyone is so hardworking! They prepare all tutorial before hand, few days before the tutorial.
No one thinks about skipping lessons. Lecture hall is always full during lectures. Students who are late will say sorry to the tutor.
Lecturers are extremely punctual. They will always come 5 or 10 mins before lecture starts to get themselves and ppt slides prepared (OMG!)
Lessons are sometimes hard to understand, even though I am paying attention. Lecturers come in different nationality and slangs, hard to understand...hai.
Lecture notes state things which cannot be found in textbooks, and tutorials don't use textbooks as well. Really make me wonder if I can pass my exams. What lecturers teach is different from textbooks. Readings are redundant, they may note be mentioned after you have read (don't know buy textbooks and read readings for what hai)

The difference above really disturb me, which is why I am feeling prematured stress. Can anyone save me? I don't want to get bad results like what I got in sec sch again. Sobs......

Why can't I join Chinese Dance?.......

2006-08-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I have gone for NUS Chinese Dance Club audition 2 weeks ago. Finally they accept me! I was so happy to receive this news, at least my background gained so many years ago allowed me to survive me through the audition haha. I really really wanted to join, but sadly decided to give up the opportunity. This is due to their intensive practices, which are on wed and fri 7pm to 10pm!!!! How can I make it when I live so far away from sch. Fri is still not a problem, but I have lesson at 9am on every thur. If I really join, I would reach home at mid night on wed and wake up at 6plus the next morning! I think this will be hell for me.

Hai, I always have to give up what I really like. Now, I thought of turing to Jazz Dance, which is on every Sat morning. I am going to see how is it this coming Sat, so wish me luck that I don't have to give up on this as well haha

Love him...Miss him

2006-08-25T23:07:00.001+08:00

Don't know y....i love him, him and him. And I miss Him, Him and Him too......

Love him...Miss him

2006-08-25T23:07:00.000+08:00

Don't know y....i love him, him and him. And I miss Him, Him and Him too......

The Jewel in the Palace

2006-08-18T00:11:00.000+08:00

Today I had a date with Lady Han from Jewel in the Palace at Jurong Point haha. I rushed down immediately after my tutorial, which ended at 12pm. The date started at 12pm as well. When I reached there, it was already 12.30pm, and she already started signing autograph for fans! I was quite late, couldn't get into the queue, but I am glad that I could see her in person! She is so much more beautiful than real person! I took lots of pictures as well, but the sizes are very big, so will upload it next time! haha...

The Chinese Dance Audition

2006-08-17T00:30:00.000+08:00

Today I went for Chinese Dance audition in school today. There were so many people there, more than what I had expected. You may start wondering why I like Chinese Dance haha. My life was actually filled with dancing when I was young. My CCA in primary school in HK was dancing and I always signed up for dance courses during school holidays. I actually like dancing alot, particularly Chinese dance and folk dance, but have stopped for quite some time as I think I am too old too dance haha.

Well back to the audition. Alot of the participants have current dancing backgrounds! Most of them come well prepared, wearing dancing outfits and shoes. They can do most of the required movements too. Hai but for me, I never dance for more than 10 years! How to compete with others?! I was over confidence before the audition too, thinking that I will surely pass. But now, I think that the chance for me to get in is very very slim......

I really want to join dancing again, maybe because I really enjoyed the dancing moments when I was young......

1st Day in University

2006-08-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

Today is my first day in NUS. Wow study again after resting and slacking for half a yr haha. The lesson structure is almost the same as Poly, but peers are much more agressive! They are so vocal, which you would not see in Poly. I am not the quiet type, but I do feel threatened somehow. Worse still, lecturer would not care if you learn about that module before. He will just keep teaching and asking you for views, treating everyone as having all the basic knowledge. Wa luckily I have, phew. I hope I can survive, the road for me in uni is still very very long......

The Beautiful Crown

2006-08-13T12:56:00.000+08:00

Recently, I am so obcessed with CROWNS accessories!! To an extent that everyone around me begins to notice it...haha...

On National Day, I just bought a crown necklace, which costs me $22!! This is the most expensive necklace that I have bought to date. Although I felt heartache for a while, I wore it almost immediately as I really like it. Its design is very special, which I could not find else where. The craze continues...Yesterday, I bought another crown necklace and crown bracelet again! OMG, I never went into such craze before. I spent $25 + again in total. I really think I should stop before I spend all my salary on crowns!! Haha...

Now I should report what I am holding on hand. In total, I have 4 crown necklaces, 3 crown rings and 2 crown bracelet in total. The strength may keep increasing...haha

Can I Dream of You Again?......

2006-08-08T16:51:00.000+08:00

Have u all ever wondered why one will dream of someone of the opposite sex sometimes? Do you know what is the meaning of dreaming someone of the opposite gender? Well, I have read from some horoscope book, which says that one may dream of someone of the opposite gender because she/he actually misses or even likes him/her. Then the next question comes: When u dream of that someone, do u think he/she is actually dreaming of u at the same time (which means both parties' dreams are linked)? However, I still can't find an answer for this......

Well, I do occasionally dream of him, but i don't really know y. Maybe I still miss and like him? Although I know I shouldn't do so, but I am in no position to control my own dreams. I admit that sometimes I do miss him, and very very deep down in my heart I still like him, but I know I shouldn't dream of him. I know he will think I shouldn't dream of him too. Yet, humans are like this. You know u are not allowed to do something, but you will want to do it even more as a result. That is y I want to dream of him again, and again. Maybe because it is almost impossible for me to have him in real life, that's y I would like to satisfy my desire by dreaming of him at night, where there's only me and him alone. I wonder if he dreams of me at the same time when I dream of him, or that he doesn't feel a thing at all. I really want to know the answer, but I know it will remain a mystery to me forever......

2006-08-07T23:51:00.000+08:00

The 11th Anniversary

Today marks the 11th yr of my presence in Singapore! On 7th August 1995, when I was just 10 yrs old, I stepped into Singapore to start my life anew. I was unsure and worried, especially about the education system here. My english was not very fantastic. I could only communicate with others in Mandarin, which my new classmates could barely understand. However, I was indeed grateful that my classmates and teachers helped me alot, and I managed to pick up in the end :)

Alot of friends and relatives asked me if Singapore or HK is better. Hmm...I will always give my usualy answer, which is both have their pros and cons. Singapore indeed has a better education system than HK, which I appreciate. But life is really boring here compared to HK! I really miss shopping and eating in my hometown, not to mention that I always play arcade and eat good food with my mum after school!haha...despite this, I must say that Singapore is a much more secured place than HK (in terms of crime rate), which is also another plus point of Singapore.

Hmm...did I regret coming here? Well, I don't regret as it brought fate to me and my friends (especially my loved ones), so that we will be able to know each other! But I would like to try out working life in HK next time as well..haha!

2006-08-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

hi all...welcome to the world of Bluemooon! This is the 1st time i am writting blog (rily can't imagine i will write blog one day). Well actually i am a lazy person la so nv tht of writting blog at all all these while..maybe recently a lot of things happened ba...happy and sad...which i haf been keeping 2 myself...so decided 2 write it here...dun curse me if u see me nv update my blog 4 long time in future hor...i am juz a gal who is lazy 2 write haha :)...but do come occasionally 2 see wat i haf got 2 say k